From Alyssa Nicole to Nicholas Anthony

It’s the same story I’ve been telling over and over again.
But, this time, it’s different.

This time, I am honoring Alyssa.
I haven’t said that name in like 3 years.
I was ashamed of that person.

It’s weird to say this…but I don’t even remember how she was.
I suppressed those memories.

I just remember how I felt and I was angry.
Extremely angry.
Miserable.
With a chip on my shoulder.

I wasn’t happy.

It was very hard to make the transition and go against what everyone else thought.
But, at the end of the day….it’s what makes you happy.
If you can’t live with yourself…then there’s no point.

People used to say….”smile”, “why don’t you smile?”.
I haven’t heard that in a while.

I’m getting to know myself in a new way.
And finding comfort with the person I am now.

I’m able to step back,
open my eyes,
and realize that without Alyssa,
I wouldn’t be who I am.

She was the courageous person that went through what she did and made me the person I am now.

This time, I am honoring Alyssa.

*this piece was made in collaboration with Nicholas Anthony Taylor in Brooklyn NY